Texts From Last Night · madgates's Favorites

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madgates's Favorites Texts:

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(534): View more from Wisconsin

He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime

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(541): View more from Oregon

Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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(817): View more from Texas

Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM

Fav 9 2208 871
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