Texts From Last Night · sparky335's Favorites

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sparky335's Favorites Texts:

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

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(225): View more from Louisiana

You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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(214): View more from Texas

Come over. Drunk tacos.

(1-214): View more from Texas

That isn't even a sentence.

(214): View more from Texas

I kept the important parts.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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(518): View more from New York

You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

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