Texts From Last Night · lucyjameson's Favorites

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lucyjameson's Favorites Texts:

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(425): View more from Washington

Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?

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(407): View more from Florida

There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!

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(940): View more from Texas

An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.

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(773): View more from Illinois

btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs

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(864): View more from South Carolina

You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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