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  in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.

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• Its DUCT tape, asshole

  Submitted by ThizzGOBLIN on Jun 2, 11 at 2:11pm

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• Lucky! Drunk me deleted all my contacts

  Submitted by AhPieL on Jun 3, 11 at 3:54am

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• So this duck drives up to the Taco Bell drive through window, and says to the attendant: "Do you have a grape.... " Hmmm... Wait... Wrong joke.

  Submitted by TubeSounding on Jun 2, 11 at 2:20pm

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• @thizz...hey ASSHOLE, why don't you do some research before you call other people assholes...or are you suffering from such low self-esteem that you have to berate other people online anonymously, because you have no idea of what you are talking about?

  Submitted by fclross on Jun 3, 11 at 4:00am

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• @thizz...duct tape is the correct name for the tape in general, but there is a "Duck" brand duct tape. Either is acceptable.

  Submitted by Squall on Jun 2, 11 at 7:12pm

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• other than giving head, that's using your head.

  Submitted by sergieaux on Jun 2, 11 at 2:57pm

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• I like penis

  Submitted by JetersAsshole on Jun 2, 11 at 2:12pm

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• Change the Depends and, by golly, it's "Hello World !".

  Submitted by BigCrank on Jun 3, 11 at 10:55pm

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