Texts From Last Night · fixit2563's Favorites

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fixit2563's Favorites Texts:

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(434): View more from Virginia

A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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(512): View more from Texas

boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.

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(214): View more from Texas

things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's

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(281): View more from Texas

I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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(705): View more from Ontario

All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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(904): View more from Florida

Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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(302): View more from Delaware

is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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