somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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