I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
