I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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