youre lurking in front of me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
