Texts From Last Night · sar3b3ar_'s Favorites

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sar3b3ar_'s Favorites Texts:

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here

Fav 2 2019 919
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(303): View more from Colorado

I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself

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(719): View more from Colorado

hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

Fav 8 1989 992
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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