at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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