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  Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.

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• If you have a vagina, you're not trying hard enough.

  Submitted by BDVille on Dec 12, 12 at 3:51pm

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  • even if OPs a guy....still not trying very hard

    Submitted by plygtr85 on Dec 13, 12 at 5:38am

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• Once again, put down the ice cream and watch elf on a treadmill, and the sex problem will solve itself

  Submitted by dmoney1234 on Dec 12, 12 at 3:10pm

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  • Because being overweight is the only reason people don't have sex..

    Submitted by popyelle on Dec 26, 12 at 8:51pm

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• You could have just said you want the crazy cat lady starter kit for Christmas, instead of saying all that.

  Submitted by lol_wat on Dec 12, 12 at 5:09pm

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• Eating the ice cream will not help.

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Dec 12, 12 at 3:21pm

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• Wait, are you me?

  Submitted by kin_in_in on Dec 12, 12 at 3:10pm

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• Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

  Submitted by NapoleonDynamite on Dec 12, 12 at 11:26pm

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• Lower your standards, lower your weight, or quit being a slut.

  Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Feb 25, 13 at 10:08pm

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• Sixty Nine

  Submitted by CessnaDriver on Dec 12, 12 at 2:45pm

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• No you aren't curvy or thick or even juicy you're fat

  Submitted by iso on Dec 12, 12 at 3:19pm

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• Five years here. If you'd seen my options you'd understand.

  Submitted by Harly9 on Dec 12, 12 at 10:28pm

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