...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
