I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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