Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
