I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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