Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
