im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
