Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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