I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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