White coat. Heels.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
