I just saw a hot homeless man
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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