R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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