you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
