two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
