so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
