I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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