i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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