Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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