I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
