You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
