i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
