I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
