dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
