That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
