I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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