I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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