Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
