You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
