yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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