mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
