how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
