Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
