Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
