do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
