hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
