I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He better not be in your backpack
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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