Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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