Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
