Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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