Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.

(1-559): View more from California

Yup.

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(631): View more from New York

I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.

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(512): View more from Texas

I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.

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(231): View more from Michigan

High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?

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