Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize