Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
