I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
