My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
