Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
