this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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